Brindaban and the “Stealer of Hearts”

Brindaban and the “Stealer of Hearts”

Have you ever felt a call in your heart that was so strong that you had to follow it? So strong that even if you didn’t know why, you would turn every stone and move every mountain to answer that call?

That is how I felt about Brindaban. Or Vrindavan, as they say in India.

But what or where is Brindaban?

Brindaban is a town located about three hours by car southeast from New Delhi, near Agra and the Taj Mahal. Around 90,000 people live there, which is small for Indian cities. But you also find 5500 temples here in this little place. Someone told us that you need about two years to visit them all.

When we went there in our little taxi on a Sunday morning in February, the sky was gray with clouds and the roads were empty – a rare view in India. Atul, Thomas and Jair had squeezed onto the backseat, and I was sitting in front. It was quiet in the car. What would we find in this place? I still had no idea WHY I wanted to go!

In the Autobiography of a Yogi, Chapter 11 gives the memorable narration of “Two penniless boys in Brindaban.” Yogananda tells the amusing yet powerful story of the time that his brother Ananta challenged him and his friend Jitendra to go to Brindaban with no money and just one-way tickets for the train to Brindaban. Would they be able to visit Brindaban, eat lunch and be back home by midnight? Yogananda accepted the challenge and proved to his brother that God takes care of us under all circumstances.

The story is hilarious in some ways and one of my favorites, but it doesn’t really describe Brindaban. You only learn that “Brindaban … is the Hindu Jerusalem. Here Lord Krishna displayed his glories for the benefit of mankind.” This is quite a powerful claim, given that there are many famous cities in India: New Delhi, Agra, Kolkata, Varanasi, Mumbai, to name a few. In what way was this little town the “Hindu Jerusalem,” and what would I find there? Moreover, why did my heart urge me so much to go?

While we rode in the taxi, Atul suggested singing some Krishna chants. We didn’t know many, but a few came to mind, such as “Hey Bhagavan” and “Spirit and Nature dancing together.” We didn’t have an instrument, so we just sang, and I tried to lead a little. The hours of our journey seemed to go by quickly.

I remember seeing a lot of farmland and we crossed the Yamuna river, but otherwise the views of our journey weren’t extraordinary.

Why is the connection of Krishna and Brindaban so famous in India? I tried to remember all the stories about Krishna and the Gopis. They danced a long time ago, here in Brindaban, along the Yamuna River. Here is what I recalled:

In Mathura, near Brindaban, there was a tyrant king named Kamsa. He had a sister, Devaki. At the wedding of Devaki and her spouse Vasudeva, a wise man prophesied that Devaki’s son would slay King Kamsa. Devaki and Vasudeva were immediately thrown into prison. There Devaki gave birth to seven sons, but each one was taken away and killed. Then she became pregnant with the eighth son. His conception was already miraculous: Devaki had looked into the eyes of her husband Vasudeva; through transmission from his mind to Devaki’s womb, Devaki had become pregnant.

During the night, just minutes after Devaki had given birth to her son Krishna, the gods intervened. The prison became still, all the doors opened, and Vasudeva was able to carry little Krishna over the river Yamuna to Gokul. There he secretly exchanged his baby-son for the new-born daughter of Nanda (Chieftain of Gokul) and his wife Yashoda. Then Vasudeva returned to the prison with the little girl, who remained unharmed because she wasn’t a son.

So Krishna grew up as a cowherd in Gokul and nearby Brindaban. Here he danced with Radha and the other Gopis. Here he was the famous butter-thief. Krishna protected the people of Brindaban from a flood and rain by lifting up Govardhan Hill. Back then it was just jungle and nature and the river Yamuna.

And that is where I was going. Oh Brindaban, what blessings you have known from Krishna’s time!

Finally we approached Brindaban. Because it was Sunday, no car or bus was allowed to enter the town. Visitors either had to walk or take a Tuk tuk (little Indian taxi). I still remember the Tuk tuk ride. Four people, two big suitcases and no windows or doors to protect us. Even at a speed of just 30 km/h, it was too dangerous to jump off the Tuk tuk. So we had to let go of a lot of attachments. Water bottles, toilet paper and other items simply fell from the tuk tuk to the right and to the left. We laughed out loud because it was so comical.

At least we reached our destination, a little hotel with western standards. We left our luggage behind and began strolling through the streets of Brindaban. Thomas had arranged to meet our guide Rajesh from the Paramhansa Yogananda Charitable Trust in a few hours. Until then, we were on our own to explore.

The Paramhansa Yogananda Public Charitable Trust is an organization associated with Ananda in Brindaban. In many parts of India widows are thrown out of their houses, or they leave their homes after the death of the husband and come to Brindaban to seek refuge under Lord Krishna. The Paramhansa Yogananda Public Charitable Trust takes care of around 3200 widows and some widowers with food, water, and medicine and provides shelter for around 160 widows. We were here to see  “the mothers,” but was that the real reason I was here? I still wondered.

Not knowing exactly where to go, we soon found ourselves walking along the dusty streets that led to the central part of Brindaban. The sun was finally coming out. It was warm, and cows were walking alongside us. Because it was Sunday everyone was walking, in beautiful saris and other typical Indian clothes.

Gradually I began to “feel” the energy and vibration of this place. It is hard to describe if you have never been there. But I felt as if I was walking along the little roads of my hometown and everything in me was saying “Home, home, finally I am home!” In the depths of my heart I knew this wasn’t the first lifetime I had been here. I had already had little experiences like this during my pilgrimage through India: In Master’s little attic room in Kolkata or in Babaji’s cave in the Himalayas. It had felt as if I was back home in Ananda Assisi in the Temple of Light: the same energy, the same feeling, little islands of light surrounded by big cities or mountains.

Here the whole city seemed to tell me “YOU ARE HOME.” Every little temple, every street and byway felt like my own. I had the picture in my mind that Babaji, Lahiri Mahasaya, Swami Sri Yukteswar, and Yogananda might come arm in arm around the corner to greet us. The strength of this thought caused tears to stream down my cheeks. Finally I understood why I had to come: to experience this. So much joy. So much love. You heard bhajans everywhere.

We were looking for a place to sit down and meditate, but Brindaban is as restless as any other Indian city. Eventually we found a place near the entrance of a restaurant. Never before I had never been so eager to close my eyes. As soon as I did, I could feel Krishna’s energy embracing us and filling us with light and joy. Calmness overcame me. All noise and stress forgotten, I could feel in every cell his presence and the absolute clarity that Krishna and Babaji were the same. Different places, different lives, but the same energy, the same divine joy.

Soon we met Rajesh, and he showed us around. Later that evening we met some “mothers” in the houses of the Paramhansa Yogananda Charitable Trust. Though the rooms were shared by as many as 5 or 6 widows, all the women seemed to be filled by an immense love and happiness, such as you rarely find in Western countries.

The next morning we met Radha and other employees from the CharitableTrust. We happily communicated with them by means of the Google translator on our phones. Also lunch was provided for us, and I must say that it was the only time in India that the food wasn’t too spicy for me. During the meal preparation, I did my best to explain Krishna’s story to Thomas and Jair, with help from some of the widows. Apparently I did quite well, which is why I feel confident enough to tell Krishna’s story in this blog😄.

Every morning we were awakened by bhajans from the nearby temple. I still remember lying in bed and listening to the foreign but movingly beautiful Indian voices.

The other day Asha Nayaswami told us a story: A woman was told by a psychic about her past lives. In one of them she had met Jesus Christ in the alleys of Jerusalem. It was just for a moment and she never met him again. But this one contact with him influenced all lives from that moment on. Not just one lifetime. All of them!

That is how I felt here in Brindaban: as though one experience of Brindaban many lifetimes ago had changed the course of my lives forever. At last, after all this time, I had returned to this holy place.

Right after we met our guide Rajesh, I told him: “I want to stay forever.” At first he just laughed but then said seriously, “Sure, stay. We have enough for you to do here, Durga. Just stay.” That was exactly what I wanted to hear, though my heart told me that the Masters had other plans for me.

So, with a heavy heart, I said goodbye two days later. Have you ever had a broken heart? That is how I felt at the end of the trip. Oh Krishna, Stealer of Hearts, you have stolen my heart and carried it since then.

Tears were running down my cheeks throughout my flight back to Europe. My heart still couldn’t comprehend why I had to leave Brindaban. Heartbroken, I returned to Italy, never to be the same again. If you have once experienced this kind of Divine Love, it reminds you of the true Divine Self that you really are.

Yogananda talks about a saint he was so drawn to that, had he stayed even one day longer, he would never have been able to leave. That is how I felt about Brindaban. And this is the reason why I had to return to Italy and couldn’t stay in Brindaban.

Brindaban, oh Brindaban, you have changed me forever. Will I ever see you again?